hidden stories

Saturday (27/8/2011)

when we came back from town only to find out that we didn't bring our main door key

I went round hospital only to find out that I am not able to get any help any where

so we 2 start thinking what to do next

we went round the whole house only to find that the security is really tight

we have no way to go into the house

i told dad to kick in through

so he give it a kick and the door is opened

so the next day i complain that our door key is spoiled

so they come to repay the door key !

Gaduh

schizophrenia patient by the name of Gaduh came to hospital Kapit for shelter

they are really smart people

they know very well that she will get help from here

she brings all her property to hospital

--stove, mattress , pillow etc

she told people she stay under the stairs

that is the place in front of the conference room

there are a few batch where she can lie down comfortably

on the Friday (26/8/2011)

on my way back from work

I saw all her properties there

when I think of her kerosene stove

I start to get worry if she starts cooking there

because near there is where we keep our O2 plant

so i tell the hospital security to keep an eye on her

truly she didn't starts any cooking

OMG

that's where I got worried over my week end

so I brought her food and drinks for fear that she might be starved

but mind you

she even can say - God bless you

my tears just come out like rain

people who's mental -- not sound in her mind

but she can say good words of god

people who are so sensible who are not even like her!

she stays in hospital as her shelter till Monday

then the hospital welfare staff send her to another place where she called home !

God bless her .

we are always better than others

we all grumble -- every now and than

but we never realize that we are so much better than those who suffer

do you all think they are born to suffer?

the answer is -- no

they are just less fortunate than us

you all might say

time has change, we are born in different generation

but the world is round

that's never changing

People in UK( Ulu Kapit) has a lot to suffer to survive

but it seems that they are happy people

we can see joy in their face

My British friend-- Mr Ben Siegmund agrees with me

he visited Kapit Hospital last month

he loves the green anyway

anyway be happy always

when you are down

think of those who are even less fortunate than you

when you are crying over no shoes to use

think of people who have no legs !

count down......

I am counting days for my retirement date

that means that i am near 58 years old

well I don't feel old at all

I feel as young as ever

that's me !

I have so much things to do each day

I have so much plans in me

but I am trying my best to do my best !

looking forward for our Singapore trip which is on 15/10--25/10/2011

feels rather happy to meet up my children

they are my assets in life

they are all what i have in this complicated world

I love you all with all my heart

sometimes I do scold you all

but that's meant for good

after all i am no GOD

I am a human like anybody else !

whatever and wherever life brings me

I still have you all -- My four diamonds of life

god bless you all and stay healthy each day

mum loves you all the way you are and always will be

may GOD bless you all for ever and ever.

Kapit life

8/2/2011-- the day I was promoted to U42(M)

I went to Kapit to report to Dr Ngian on 21/2/2011-- I heard that she complain to state pengarah why send someone near retirement to her hospital because I am the least useful people according to their mentality because I don't have time to plan what I have to do

but I have proof to them that I am still useful

I am the resource personel

I can help up with so many things

I know that Kapit Hospital is in the process of accreditation when I was transfer here

the assessment date is on 5-7/5 /2011

but I help to reform a few units

the laboratory is so messy

the ER department is no better as well

I took a week to reform these places

the staff here can also realize that if I don't help up

they will fail the accreditation

now that we were accredited for 3 years

praise the lord

without you

I cannot be what I am as well

the nursing standard is also low

I don't mean I can do all these alone

but I am here to guide

I see what people don't see

now we are a bit more in the correct path

medication error is also a problem

the pharmacy department and me work hand in hand to improve on these

we have issue so many incident reports

our pengarah is very supportive on our projects

my sincere thanks to her

8/8/2011- confirmation date

Dr Ngian mark my SKT -- 96.27 %

thank you so much

this proof that I am doing something to your organisation

awesome journey.

5/7/2011

I planned for a July leave a couple of weeks ago

Planning of what to do --do what and the how

wake up rather early on 5 Th morning

walk down my way to the wharf alone

in the dark

not scare at all

cos I know , I will be home soonest

the express boat has brief stop at SONG and kanowit

picking and dropping passengers

the journey took around 3 hours to reach sibu

there i have to meet Mr Wong for the Bako land dispute thingy

such a man !

has been asking for cash( Rm 350) for the processing of the Bako land title

by the way , dad is the one who drives him here and there in Kuching

and today , i have to bring all the documents to KuchingLand Survey !

so I took out my money and i pay him Rm 300

I left only less than Rm 50 !

i am going to ATM in Sarikei anyway !

after that i took a bus to sarikei to meet my third sister

i stop near her place and i haven't got a chance to reach town to get some money !

so i have a brief stop over at her place

ended up in an unpleasant situation after meeting that crazy brother of mine

we have a quarrel and i left

i reach the bus terminal and find that i have only Rm 31.75 !

i told the lady that i have only what i have and the bus is waiting for me !

and that counter lady is so nice to let me have a ticket at Rm 31 .

so i left 75 cents for my journey !

and i have not ate since morning apart from a cup of oats

the bus stop for a rest

with my 75 cents

i bought an egg -- 70cents

i still left 5 cents

that's my poorest day in my life !

sometimes - life does not turn out the way you want it to be

well , that's life

i am still what i am today

praise the lord

friends come and go

and you are always with me .

yahooooooooo

stressed out (desserts out)

work place

the Burmese specialist--throw a temper to we two( Matron Masita and Ngu )

she just come a few months to Kapit Hospital

and she is lazy

on Wednesday (22/6/2011)

there is no medical officer (MO) in her area ( the Paediatric MO is covering her area and she is to do her area first )

The MO has his duty at the one Malaysia boat clinic for a week

she c/o that no one take a consent for the laporatomy patient

another MO is rude talking to her

and her ward-- OB (obstetric )

the patients is around 9-12 patients each day

OMG ment hire you to come to relax ? and makan gaji only kah ?

what a annoying thing !

another throw temper at home

always ask

Mei's house when pay money

i say that he can ask Mei himself

no ball to find out things himself

and he never offer a help at all !

yesterday i want to sign out the face book account ( while he is still on the lap top , and is time to go to work )

he say -- why need to sign out -- any secrets ?

secrets - none , but i don't want any quarrel any more because of so many previous issues

when reach my working place,

my phone rings

" i am going back to Kuching , no food this afternoon "

well , will i starve of hunger?

i m very happy -- yahoooooooo

i can breathe my own air for a little while

the room key was passed to me by a colleage ( iban JM) from the Medical ward

she told me that he give her the key at the wharf

when she go escorting a patient to the wharf !

berita terkini

skype

Diana has been with us for a couple of days since her winter break

she is with us nearly everyday

we will leave the skype on even we are out to town

i will on the radio for her to listen

and she will see her film series and i can hear the music( but of course -- can't see)

we are very happy that way ( me at least)

when i see her on the screen

i feel very excited

we all love you so much

Aunt Suk share with me that one of Richard 's friend want to quit study in Australia because of the extreme cold weather

well , i see things in a different prospective

once you are given a chance

go for your dream

don't give up !

chance strike but once in your life time

if i was given a chance

i am not only what i am today

but i also no need to grumble as well

that's is what the best my parents can give me

now that my parents were all in heaven

i wish them happy life each day

i love you two forever and ever

may God be with you two .

i had a funny dream two nights ago (17/6/2001)

i dream of Nong do her eyes plastic surgery

her eyes were so sunken and look rather wield and small

i keep telling myself that Nong has two big eyes

why is it like that now

OMG

i was so worried and unhappy

i work up from my dream

Nong is there anything that you are hiding from me ?

frustrated..

thinking of work even when on leave

when at work place -- feels frustrated

the impossibles are happening

the cold chain fridge temperature can shoot up to 27 degree Celsus over a period of few hours ?

a baby can be immunise twice

OMG ! what a thing to happen in UK!

the people here are out of their minds !

before accreditation , they welcome you for comments for improvements

after accreditation , they don't welcome you anymore !

if you go to their area

they will ask -- any thing ?

why are you here ?

they are so threatened of your knowing their wrong and malpractices

and definately , they have a lot of mal practice !

OMG ! that's UK !

and back home

i have to deal with an old near senile creature

throwing temper at any time of the day

blaming me of children's mis behave

and not having enough properties

all because of me

not listening to his instruction of owning property

that now we are the poorest of all his sedblings

how much money and how rich are his other sedblings

that i am the ' po chai bor '-- this saying have been instill in the tang family since i get in to their family

even can scold me in his sleep!

i have enough

biggest gift ever.

New d Zealand-- here we come

9-19/5/2011

i am very excited about this dates

is our family trip

we have got quite a few family trips previously

but i really treasure the one we have in NZ

it is a greatest mother' s day gift for me

that is we are together spending our time together for 10 days in southern island of NZ.

2gether

DD skype me and say that she is lonely

I am also lonely

so we 2 on the skype and she go to sleep

so we are actually sleeping 2gether last night!

praise the lord

sometimes loneliness is just the way you feel

actually you are the same you

life is such

you will feel good if someone is with you

in person or virtual

ha ha

i make someone happy today .

morality

i have such a funny dream

i dream of myself going out shopping

i dress up so lousy and shabby

i was in a crowd

i was the only one who dress up sort of ugly

when i started shopping

no one seem to notice me

but i notice myself being so lousy

i dream come back to change my clothing

may be i think too much

i have a Dr- a Chinese

he is really such a man

he dress to work in T shirt and jeans

sometimes the T shirt is torn

OMG

i told him many times

sometimes he listen

sometimes he don't

he is my challenge in life !

take things easy, everything will be alright.

everything will be alright

longing for my NZ holiday

is has been planned since last year

that s way back in November 2010

that is the time when we plan to move to Pusat Jantung Kota Samarahan

everybody worry this and that

i always tell myself

take it easy, things will be alright

i start packing at the last week of moving

i took about 2-3 days to pack my things

and everything is under control

31/12/2010 is the moving day

i am the chief commander at the moving end

things go on smoothly

everything are under control

and we have do it well

if not the best

than come the Kapit transfer

is just come at a time

before i come to Kapit

i was worry

when i am here

i am sort of happy

everybody is so helpful and so near to me

well what is that to worry

in life we can't be too optimistic

don't think of bad things as a whole

take things easy

than it will be alright

we have so many family trips all this while

it is not a problem so far

now that we are all adults

it should not be a barden to anyone

we know exactly what to do

i just don't understand why it should be a barden to anyone

we know what to do

siblings quarrel a bit is quite normal

life is such

take things easy

think life simple

everything will be ok ok ok.....

our trip will be a enjoyable one

i can garantee that

we just want to be together -- family reunion

other things are secondary

don't worry

nothing to worry

life is such

take life easy

mum love you all for ever and ever

we will make everyone high and happy !

common sense....

Acreditation thingy

pengarah hospital - Dr Ngian tell me to help up for reforming the stubborn units in Kapit Hospital

all the wards --maternity/gynae , medical ward, surgical ward, paediatric ward,

were all not bad

i just tell here

and they can follow fairly well

Emergency trauma dept( ETD ) and the laboratory dept are tough

they are really in bad shape !

the places are dirty , messy and in a mess

i spent around 10 days to reform ETD dept

i give suggestions

i help them with the moving sometimes

i help them to through away unwanted things, old things , things that are not used, things that are beyond repair, the lists go on

oh , it is great now

they are so happy about it

they say that i help them a lot

actually i didn't do much

i use common sense

i ask them few questions

- do you use this

-can this be used

-do you need this

-you still using

-do you think this thing should be here--table , trolley, stand etc

laboratory-- i took 2 days only

i use the same principles

they are reformed!

they are so happy also !

so my philosophy is

-throw, rearrange, relocate,keep in store

to solve their problems

it is really useful .

Mum -- I love you soooooooo much

i had a dream

i dream of my mum

talking to Dr Sim--my ex-boss

she passed to him her out patient card

she say that she want to be seen by him

because he is such a good doctor

she should not miss the chance of seeing him!

Dr Sim also entertain her

oh ! i wish that you and dad RIP in heaven

in my dream , mum look rather well in her flowery clothing

she look neat and well

she doesn't look sick at all !

mum , i love you !

It is just different......

1. kapit people like to sale things in plates

a plate of little fish

a plate of little prawns

a plate of salted wild bore

and so on....

2. can bathe any where

whenever there is a water hose , someone can bathe there

I saw an old lady bathing at one corner at the pork market topless !

i saw a little boy bathing in a big square sink with a big piece of wild bore!

OMG ! I think they are going to sale that piece of meat later !

DD is in the room..

yesterday--30/3/2010

635 am I start skype with my little girl Diana

we skype for a while and we decided to go to town

we let the skype to be on

I on the radio

and DD is kept accompanied by the radio

so we left for town

dd is left alone with the radio

dad says dd is in the room !

true also

sometimes in life

we just want to be accompanied by someone

then we feel so happy

we need not to spend any cash to make someone happy

we just need to stay with them

and listen to them !

we went to church today

the paster started with her nagging mum

ask if she has eaten, bathe, blanketed, close the window , the door, gas off or not

and the lists goes on ..........

I was so touched and my tears just come out so automatically...

well well , we must be so blessed your mum is still able to say so many words to you !

how about me........

I can never have a chance to hear my dearest mum nagging anymore!

live my own life

I , Me meeeeeeeeeeee

I am living my own life

I eat and I grow and live a life of my own

I breathe for myself and nobody is capable of doing that for me

Jesus never leave me

He is with me for ever and ever

Friends come and go

some left good memories

others left a permanent bleeding scars in your heart

is up to me to choose

either you choose suffering or happiness

the life is yours

you have the right to chose your own circle of friends

learn to say NO to people who make your life suffers

no one will choose a suffering life

stand on your own feet

dare to step out and live your own happy life

we don't live for people

and I don't need to live for someone

be yourself

and live your own life.

when someone give you unhappiness

be brave to leave them

friends are many

is up to me to chose

be brave , be strong and be your self

our biggest enemy is our self

learn to conquer it

so , live my own life and be my own self.

A to Z..........

Intensive Care Unit. (ICU)

Before I come to Kapit

chief matron of HUS already hints me that I am to set up ICU unit in Kapit

well , it is not a big deal for me

I am quite comfortable with the whole thing

For the past few weeks , I have been working on it

we are near there now

the quotations of equipments, air compressors. and many others are up already

I feel quite relieve now.

just waiting for the equipments in and the installations to be done.

Accreditation for Hospital Kapit

it has been a long time working on accreditation thingy

last month 4-6 /4/2011 , we have mode survey by the Sibu Hospital group

it is quite a brief one

it seems that we still have a lot to put in place

we are waiting to see in this 4-6 /5/2011

ho ho.. I will be going for holiday after that

looking forward for my holidays In New Zealand.

basic nursing care

TPR

quite shocked to see simple thing like TPR tray are not in place in all the wards here

medical ward has 4 thermometers only!

OMG !

how can that be !

and there s no receiver for the used thermometers !

Emergency trolleys

it is like a storage trolley for the emergency apparatus for most of the wards

I can't do much right now

because the accreditation is just around the Corner

I told Dr Ngian that I will change after the accreditation.

I am wandering , are we save to practice ?

life at a whole

Kapit town

mountainous place

houses are here and there

this is because the land is rather hilly

they people chose to build the houses at an area of flat land area

so you can see houses at flat land area only

they will avoid the mountains

so we can see houses --one area here and another area there

there are no houses at the mountains

the town is rather small

half an hour , we can round the whole town

the life here are rather primitive

you cant get what you want in big places like Kuching

they only have things enough to go for basic life

lots of wild vegetables, wild bore, dear, snake meat -- anything wild here , you get them here !

kapit............

8/2/2011

i was promoted to U42 on this day

that is the highest grade i can go for non degree holder

really h8ave a mix feeling after knowing the result-- go or stay ?

i go to the clerk and ask a few questions

how much do i benefit from accepting the offer

after calculating

i will get gratuity of more than 6k

a monthly pension of 121 rm per month

well not bad le

so here i am -- Kapit here i come

21/2/2011

i came to kapit to report to Dr Ngian Hie Ung --hospital director

she s also the MOH of Kapit division

i tell her that i am appealing to stay back at Pusat jantung HUS

she tell me briefly that it were be ok for her side

after all without me

Kapit hospital still goes on

well life always goes on with or without you!

time passed

my appeal was not entertained at all

well -- seems like the JKNS management are not interested in us all!

20/3/2011

in normal condition , we are allowed to stay 2 weeks after one mouth of date of promotion

8/2/2011 to 8/3/2011

add 14 more days-- ie 21/3/2011!

i must work on 21/3/2011

so i start work at Kapit Hospital on the 21/3/2011

friends......

who are they?
we all need friends in this world . we never deny that
that is part of us-- part of living , part of everyday life. and on and on....
we cannot live without friends
but funny enough , friends come and go
that s my experience in life about friends
some are soul friends
some are funny friends
some are crazy
some are mad
some only when they need you.
a friend in need is a friend indeed.
how many friends are friends in need ?
ask myself .....
none
this moment friend
next moment -- enemy
that's why friend and enemy must go together !
when i was young
my friends treat me no better
when i grow older
i know life better
friends are friends
we rarely have a friend in need
they always leave you when you are in trouble
they are so scared of you !
even your relatives -- so scared of you when you need help
so friends are friends la
we better be our own self la
work hard
earn lots of money
good to yourself
be a friend in need to yourself always
act moderate
friends moderate

mixed feeling --2011

promotion thingy

praise the lord that I am promoted again

last promotion was on 23/9/2007

to the post of U36 matron post

so now I am promoted to U42 -- matron post but of different grade.

am happy one thing and unhappy on the other hand.

i will be transferred to another hospital !

there are 2 other assistant medical officers who are also promoted

our boss -Dr Sim helps them to appeal

I also told Dr Sim about my promotion thing .

he also help me to SMS my state matron

so i don't know what will be the outcome

pray for me that I don't need the transfer thing !

friends come and go

my two younger girls are facing friends leaving them

well, we have experienced lots of that things in life

we gone through that many many times in life !

friends are meant to be like that !

i have got so many friends leaving us every now and then

now when I think back

God has it's own way to guide us

the friends that leave me -- to me were leaving me for good

I don't need that type of friends in life

some friends -- take advantage of you

some -- make use of you

some --for a purpose

some -- jealous

some--get some news from you to tell other people

the list go on ....

there are very few genuine friends in this world

when they feel that you are nomore useful

they leave you!

we very seldom have really good friends in life

think it this way

in life

even someone left their dearest parents

what more to say friends !

life is as such . feel sad for a while and get out from it !

tomorrow is always a better day .

2011

It is a real challenging year for me

We all work non stop -- I mean no off days for the past 3 weeks

OMG ! It is really hard work !

31/1/2011 was a public holiday -- Malaysia win football !

we all work on that day !

we are all busy preparing for our moving to our new hospital -formally known as SIMC !

it is history -- it is now Heart Centre Sarawak General Hospital ( Pusat Jantung Hospital Umum Sarawak )

We moved on 1.1.11 (ie 1/1/2011 )

we have made history !

but its really hard work !
we met all sorts of funny people around .
some shouting . another screaming , some walk out from meetings--oooo
some couldn't care . some make no know . some ignoring . some make all sorts of excuses.
life is such a challenging thing !