prayer

God our father

walk through my house and take away all my worries

and illnesses

and please watch over and heal my family

in Jesus name

amen

!!!!!!!!!!

an aunty approach me and ask me
where to find someone who had a 'neck operation'
i ask --male or female
is a female
i ask -- what is her name ?
she answered -- don't know
what is the surname?
don't know?
we call her by -home name
i am so sorry , aunty. i don't know how to help you !

many a time , we don't know people's name.
OMG ! how to find such a person!

i still remember years back
when Nong came back and related a story to me
mum , someone come to our class and find nong nong
so many people look back!

my home nong nong is different from your home nong nong !
ooooo
thats life !

yesterday another old lady approach me again
you speak Foochow? ( as if i have a dialect shown on my face !)
yes aunty
Misi--- i cant pass motion-- for the pass 3-4days .... i didn't make it
i tell her what to eat
i tell her she try to eat more fruits and vegetables and may be some prunes
what is prunes?
i try to explain to her.
she say -- thats something expensive. she shed tears as she tell me .
oooo I'm speechless!
i get Dr to precribe Lactolose ( sth to ease her constipation )
she related to me she had 5 children --all of them have their own family
only the youngest son -- who is married and has no children yet
that s the only son who support her finiancially
OMG!-- she has to take PRAVIX (an antiplatilet drug) and she has to pay around >rm 200 more month. can she afford ?

as we talk ,
she related to me she had a relative
who die in the hospital in the ICU last time
her children is a DR working in Rejang Medical Center who's a orthopaedic surgeon by surname Tang
then she tell me more about that family
i can figured out someone i know of
i help her to ring the relative
they met and they talk
And i left
OMG ! we have to know lots of things in this world in order to help people !

power up your confidence

on 4 /12/2010. I went for a motivation talk by a distinguished speaker ---Mr. Mohamad Ariff Azahari. We were given a hang out as follow

Professional Etiquette

Etiquette

the ability to get along with others, demonstrate good manners, perform acts of consideration and put others at ease. while this qualities have always been appreciated.In today's hectic and often self-centred world ,they act as beacons that cause a person to shine out from the crowd.True act of courtesy are performed, not out of a sense of obligation or in a patronising way , but out of genuine respect , care and thoughtfulness for the person(s) in question, regardless of any cultural, political or religious differences. Of course , etiquette for etiquette's sake will be an empty and meaningless activity. But genuine good manners and a working knowledge of professional behaviour are essential and productive business skills.

Handshakes

The handshake is the most traditional of all the form of welcome. It can set the entire tone of meeting. In the past , it was initiated to show that you were unarmed. today it shows respect and friendship.

whoever extends their hand first has the distinct advantage. When you use a confident grip,not a' bone crusher 'handshake . You are being direct , taking initiative , and establishing control.It is not necessary for a woman to wait for a male to offer for his hand first,

Make eye contact and smile. Looking people in the eye gives them the impression that you are trustworthy and confident in your ability.your smile should be sincere as it will set the tone of the meeting and put everyone at ease.

*Always stand ( rise to the occasion) to shake hands.
*keep your right hand free to initiate or accept a hand shake
*extend your hand parallel to the ground
*extend your hand on a slight angle with the thumb up
*close your hand only when the webs of your thumbs meet
* shake from the elbow not the shoulder or wrist.
*give 2-3 smooth , firm shakes and then let go
*remain 2-3 arms lengths away

Shake hands when
*you are introduced to someone
*you are saying goodbye
*when a client customer or visitor enters your office
*when you run into someone you have not seen for a long time
*when you commence a meeting with someone
*when you feel is appropriate
* when consoling somone
* when you meet a clientoutside of your office
* when you are congratulating someone
* when you are in social situation


Cultural differences

many cultures shake with a softer handshake. If in doubt, be confidently firm, but gentle.Asians often stand closer and may give a slight bow instead of bowing, while others will do both.The bow shows respect.The lower and longer bow , the more respect is shown.

Peoples with disabilities

If someone extends a prosthetic device , an arm stub or deformed hand, shake it . if they extend their left hand because the other is deformed or malfunctioning, then skake it without hasitation.

extend your hand in welcome to people in wheelchair and treat them as you would anyone else.

first impressions

consider the following tips to presents yourself professionaly and correctly.

*if you suffer from sweety palms, spray your hands with antiperspirant before you go to a business or social event.

*for cold hands ,wear gloves to an event and take them off as you enter . when wearing gloves as part of your attire remove the right -hand glove before shaking hands

*use cologue sparingly or not at all.Many people have allergies, and the scent could make others sick.

* don't wear large rings or tangling bracelets on the right hand . They can hurt when shaking hands .

*some older women were taught that ' ladies do not extend their hands ' be alert . Today , most women understand that this is expected.

*again , remember to 'raise to the occasion'. if you are seated and someone extends a hand , simply pause, gently push back your chair , and get up.If the person standing says to you , 'no , no don't get up'. your respond should be ' on the contraly, it is my pleasure'Then state your name and extend your hand.If you

*remain standing throughout the conversation.

Introductions

introducing yourself

whether it is a work or a social occasion, if no one introduces you , you must introduce yourself.

your aim should be to

* tell people who you are and give them a pleasant experience of you

*always introduce yourself to the people seated at either side of you.

At a luncheon , if time permits, get up and go around the table and introduce yourself.

* never yell across a table

*never use a title to introduce yourself. letpeople know your status later,during the small talk.In today's social and business environment it perfectly acceptable for a womman to offer her hand first.In fact , it shows self confidence and leadership.

*if your name is unusual or difficult to pronounce, be ready to assist the person who is introducing you

*respond to business or casual introductions by saying. 'Hello, Mrs Jones' or ' Hello lisa , it is a pleasure to meet you'

*always keep your right hand free to initiate a handshake.A good handshake conveys your confidence level and atitudes.

Introducing others

* always introduce a title to a title. never use a title for one person and not for the other.

*keep introductions formal until given permission to do otherwise.Never ask permission to use a person's christian name .

* do not hug or kiss during a business introduction.

*when approached by someone who you have forgotten their name just initiate a handshake and re-introduce yourself.

* if you plan to leave a couple after introducing them , always include a conversation starter or some information about the person first.

* when someone approaches and joins the groupwith whom you are talking you are not required to stop the conversation and introduce the person . Just give a nod of recognition.

order of importance ( who gets introduce to whom)

name ( introduce ) the person of most importance or most authority first, regardless of gender. if everyone is equal in all senses , pick the one you want to compliment and introduce him / her first. Or you can introduce the older person first.At social getherings organised by your work.It is considered appropriate to introduce your boss to your spouse.

when being introduced

* raise to the occasion

* move toward the person,establish eye contact, look pleasant and smile

*give them your full attention

*shake hands

*greet the person and repeat teir name

*when the meeting has ended, close the loop. by saying 'Good bye , it was great to meet you '

forgetting names

forgetting someone's name is not humorous.Pay attention during introduction, and try the following techniques for remembering names

look at the person's face

*think of a personal connection ( your mother's or daughter's name , for example)

*ask people to spell difficult names

*listen and repeat names

*repeat the name you heard

*ask for a business card

*use theperson's name during conversation

*focus on the other person without making any judgements

living in a grateful world

be grateful to those who have hurt or harmed you
for they have reinforced your determination
be grateful to those who have deceived you
for they have deepened your insight
be grateful to those who have hit you
for they have reduced your karmic obstacles
be grateful to those who have abandoned you
for they have taught you to be independent
be grateful to those who have made you stumble
for they have strengthened your ability
be grateful to those who have denounced you
for they have increase your wisdom and concentration.

laugh......

ha ha . we all have a good laugh today

jantung-- the dr ask

the nurse answered

apa jantung - this is a surgical ward



ooo it a patient by the name of jantung

in that surgical ward !



malaysia is a multi racial country

so many dialects as well



so there are so many interesting stories as well

what is your name?

Noname

cibai

jambang

libiaminora

penis ..........



ha ha ha .. what a name .
GOK !

give n take

what is give???
something you give to people
something you offer to people
something you share with people
something you think for people
something you do for people
something...
something.........

take
ambil

but if you know only how to take people 's thing
and don't know how to give
i think that someone is very selfish !
this world is full of funny people
they are so happy to take peoples things
but they never know how to share !

bosssssssssssssssssss

i ve this dynamic head
she can change her plan as time goes by
she can tell you things in a different manner , different all together !
the 1st time
the 2nd time
the 3rd time
the 4th --may be same as either the 1st or the 2nd or the 3rd or combine a bit here and there !
this makes the follower a little headache
but she don't mind if you didn't follow exactly what she says
after all what she say is difficult to follow sometimes !
i think she herself also confuse what she says !
but as long as you do , she s happy !
i like her and she likes me as well
because I do the thing , sometimes my way
then she will say
that's why I say like that lo
'is me who start it ba'
i m that one who did this before
we are quite used to her style
and we very often leave her alone
she s quite harmless !
sometimes i pity her so much
she always sleep late , work long hours
and her result might not be that rewarding
but she is quite happy if you do something

dad says-- the captain is shaky , the followers more shaky
may be it is true !
ha ha , that s different life all together !

saturday.....

we planed to cook prawn mee for Suk Ye , Rita and Ping
while still in the cooking
my boss ring
she wants me to go to work for some discussion
well , i eat and go to hospital around 1145am
we chat and planed out for the decontamination of the fungal thingy
which has been with us for so long
we planed to evacuate one area after the other
to give way for the thorough cleaning
so Monday , we will be in full action.
hope everything goes on smoothly.

yet ...........to find out.

unsolved ????

the problem of human relationship has hunted me for the past month or so

i went to cardiac clinic

i see that it is time to act

i call the 2 staff who had conflict, to a room

another one to be the witness

so 4 of us are in the room

i start out the rolling ball

nurse A ( a bad nurse)

wherever she work , she create trouble

nurse B - a good nurse ( a devoted christian )

i really don't know why they have conflict

they don't talk to each other for sometime already

my intention today is to make them to apologise to each other and become friends again

at one stage --these 2 talking as if want to have something rocky

they blame each other of some small matter

nurse A is really stubborn

i look into her face - OMG--no wander she don't get married !

she s a fierce face !

she sort of blaming everything !

she refuse to listen to advice

at one stage - she says that she do not like her friend to be called to do work when they are having their drink

i ask her if her friend- that one being called get angry ? she say - no

then why she has to get angry for them ?

i m so doubtful

we all speak for our own self only

no need to speak for your friends

they know how to speak for them self

nurse B ask for forgiveness from nurse A

after the long commotion

i call more people to come

all in all -- 8 of us are there !

I make them hold hands

at the end - they hug each other

all of them cry in the room

they all hug together -- including me

i told them to promise not to be angry and unhappy with each other

we are all fated to be together - that's why we are colleagues

i told them -it is Gods will that we are together to make friend and not to make enemies !

why fight ? why sarcastic with one another ?

life is short

value each and every minute when we are together

why make people hate you

life is really short

stay harmoniously together !

then n then

Happy birthday

4/11/2010 is Ah Ping 's 20 th birthday
Suk and me decided to celebrate her birthday in our house
we go to sunday market early to buy chicken
Suk buy 4 chickens and i buy 2
suk say she don't know how to slaughter the chicks
so i say i do the slaughtering and she do the others
so we slaughter 2 by 2 by 2
the 1st 2-- one -suk bring home to cook for lunch
2nd one -- cook in our place for making mee sua
we boil some eggs
suk buy a cake
thats how Ah Ping 's birthday is celebrated.
Ping very happy about the whole idea
her message to me
thanks for today!
thanks for the chicken
thanks for the mee sua ,
thanks for the cake
thanks for the lunch +dinner
thanks for the celebration !!
thanks for everything!!
I m very happy!
i feel grateful and xin fu to have you guls
* heart U!

weird weird n weird

2/11/2010 is old soul 's day for the Christian
my colleage Anna took a day off to pay respect to her late husband
when she came back to work the next day
she talk weird -- people keep asking where she go, their husband never die !!!
OMG! what type of communication skill ?

Mum ask -- is he no more ?

this 14 years old big boy-- really big
told his mum- who's a nursing sister in a policlinic
that he was called by a school teacher to do some work at school
but instead, he drive a motorbike with a friend going some where else
and involved in a fatal accident
he was admitted to the ICU for 2 0r 3 days
and he passed away
it was a friday (5/11/2010)
around 240pm when he passed away
i happen to be there
and i go to console the mum
i was quite shock
when the mum go and ask the doctor-- no more kah?
and she say - today is friday
they want to bury him today
so that he will have less sufferings
she quick quick ask the nurses to undo all the tubes from his body
EVEN DIED- THE MUM STILL WANT THE BEST FOR HIM !

if someone hate or don't like you at all......

I have a crazy colleague
everywhere she works
sure people don't like her one
she s not good to people
she s not helpful
she s calculative
she doesn't like to help people
she s always by herself
she tells me that people are not to her par
she don't greet , smile to certain people only
even the cardiologists don't like her one
she act high
she thought that she s the highest of all mankind


OMG !I have a big headache with her around !
she inflict verbal abuse to people .

when someone tell me that they hate or don't like some one
now I know exactly how they feel
they will get away from you , avoid you . hate you deep inside
they don't like to go with you
they try to leave you alone
they don't enjoy your presence

they ..........
if I were that person
i will image myself and live my own life ......

life lately...

Datuk Sri Yao Ping Hua 's death
he has been my patient on and off since last year.
he is a nice man and he likes to talk and shares a lot of things with me
in September 2010, he was diagnosed as hepatoma.
he was very depressed that time
i talked to him just to ease him out
and it did
he started to smile as he share his story with me
i told him , if he smile , i don't see any sickness in him
he told me he has 2 missions to accomplish.
1. to finish writing his biography
2. to celebrate and take a family photo for his 70th wedding ceremony in 2 years time with all his grand and great grand children -- from all over the world !

as he talk , i can see that he s so happy waiting for the day to come. i feel so happy for him as well !
may be more than 30 days has passed.
he is readmitted !
he is so sick-- i couldn't believe it
i go near him and say-- Matron Ngu come to see you lo
his sound was very soft - i hardly can hear him !
he was with us for a week or so
he become so critically ill and the family decided to bring him home on Sunday at 8 pm
and he passed away on Monday at 340pm !
5 matrons with our Pengarah- dr Rahim went to pay our last respect to him
he looked so peaceful !
but his wife is so sad !
keep crying.
she tells me -- that she s very lucky that God had chosen him for her !

in life , we cannot be too calculative !
we must think of other people .
we must not bring hardship to other people.
we must be very caring and love others just like you love your parents
we must love our seedblings as if you love yourself
we not only love our husband or in laws
we must love others as well
we must not cause unhappiness to other people

life is short
life must be made enjoyable at all time

Electric cigarette

have you ever heard of an electric cigarette ?
I was on my way from main office to my own area.
i saw a man smoking away outside the operation theater.
i was panic by the sight
i told him that he is not allowed to smoke within hospital compound
he told me that it is an electric cigarette and he is even allowed to smoke in a plane !
i ask one of my cardiologist
he says that this thing come out for quite a while already
actually it is nicotine puff !
OMG !
impossible is possible everywhere !

life is.........

wedding
went back to Sarikei on the 22/10/2010
to attend hubby side niece 's wedding (on 23/10/2010)
she s really big size
and shes pregnant-- may be 3 months
they are very proud for her
they keep talking especially grandma
i feel uncomfortable
cos we are all ladies, why despise our self ?
who on this earth don't make love when they are big enough to do so and be responsible
after all that is part of life .

bed ridden
i visited Ah Luang and his wife as well
he s bed ridden since chin min day 2009
actually he had a cerebral bleed after an accident on that day
he had a craniotomy in Timberland Medical Center
but he is not much better
when his wife says-- Mei Mei Ma Ma come to see you. missi come to see you
he stretch and half open his eyes
may be he knew of my presence
may be he don't
Gok
he s such a good man
he loves my two girls so much
when Mei and BB are small
their family take good care of them
he never miss giving ang paw to my children when we visited them during Chinese New Year
i know that s only a few rm
but i can see that they are good people. i feel so sorry for their family to take care of him .God bless them
and i also notice Ah Luang sin use a stick to support her walk
they are once such strong people
and now , they are so weak !
that's life
Mei and BB , go and see the photo of the toys in sin sin house.
they are still there.

challenging day

people's dad

my peer's father is admitted to another hospital
she and his brother--a nurse and a doctor
dad is left under her other brother and sister's care
when he was young, he worked in Pupua Newguine, earning big bugs
then he forget his people at home
he had another home in the new place
the family was brought up by their mother
who had a hard time

years passed
no news of him
this year
a call was received
the dad is having cva--cerebral vascular accident
causing his body paralyses
the family brought him to Malaysia home
home sweet home
only few days at home
he developed bed sores-- really bad
then hospitalised- nearly a month now
now he s waiting for the DAY !
the children ask . where are you ? when we need you ?


Saudi Arabia (S A)

was talking to Matron Guence
she told me that she worked in SA for only 2 months in 2003
earning 12 k per month !
is good money , right ?
she told me she lost 7 Kg in only 2 months !
actually , she had a bad time there.
she cried , nauseated, not used to the food there
and she 's soooooo home sick that she felt she wanted to die !

2005 . I wanted so much to go to SA to work
I have telephone interview many times
but whenever I thought of DD
I don't have my heart to go
what is money after all ?
I am making my right choice of not going.
DD mum loves you soooooooooo much !

Guence was telling me her friend who went with her to SA
that time,her youngest child was only 6 months old !
now that her husband had anther lady
her girl eloped and can't find her anymore
OMG ! what is life !

restropective.

old memories

chief matron was asking for some old photos for our publication in our " coffee Table"--our Sarawak General Hospital nursing events. only to find out that we have very little records and documentation on nursing events in the past. what a pity !

even myself also have very little records on our family events. so you all girls , keep some records of everyday happenings for future recalling back.

I had a dream last night.

It is about we have a real big house where Angela arrange many sat ties in the house . and we have a very big kitchen. ha ha

I have a long staying patient-- Mr Nehemiah Raymond. He is with us since 31/5/2010. he had another attack of pheumothorex again this afternoon.I happened to be there. when he is a bit better, he says that he not even marry ! he is only 17 ! meaning that he think far for himself ! That is life -- different perception in life !

longest holiday

I have my longest holiday spent oversea
1/9/2010 --16/9/2010
Tiger Tix from Kuching to Singapore--1st Sept at 16:45---flight no tr 2495
Singapore to Kuching--back to Kch-- 16/9/2010 at 16:15-flight no. tr 2494
though the flight were a bit delayed. we are very excited over the whole thing

actually - the whole idea is spending quality time with my family
all of us were there in Singapore except Diana
Diana is too far away , or else we would be bringing her along. DD --sorry.

We were very happy sardine ourselves together in a room-- thank the house owner to accommodate us . Thank you so much .

This is our 2nd trip to Singapore-- spending quality time with my children. 1st trip is last year -- during Xmas time. also 5 of us together in the same crowded room.DD joined us in Johor Bahru . Her passport was handed over for her visa thingy to New Zealand.
But our family re-union in Johor Bahru !
That is something to be remembered. I love my family .

singapore mari

1/9/2010
very excited when wanted to come to Singapora
but only to find out the plane is delayed at the airport
so we all waited at the airport

we ate KFC
actually not my favourate
but no choice
cos our luggage are there with us !

while reaching airport in Singapora
Nong and Jia were there to fetch us
feel very happy !
tqvm

6/9/2010
we are in Sg for a few days already
we have been to many places
wa are all excited each day
yesterday we went to Maina Bay
so much changes as compared to last round here
so many people in the Casino
but so sad to see the people who gamble are low class income group
can see from their dress code
why send money to them
why , why , why ?
think of your family when you throw money like that
there is no free lunch in this world
earn your money and spend in a proper way
don't send to places like that
they will never say thank you
take care of your family

very wierd

27/8/2010
my chief matron 's house was robbed
it 's very weird
she was sleeping in the sitting room
the things that she lost were all in the sitting room
the light was on -- always on , according to her
she slept around 2 am in the morning
when she wakes up at 630am
( she usually wake up at 530 am by her hand phone alarm)
she was blaming why her alarm not working
actually her h/p was stolen
3 lap tops
cash of 6k RM
++ she don't actually know
because her house full of things
I went to her house around 3pm
she was calm
she keep blaming herself -- why she sleep so soundly
while the actual fact is that she 's very alert of her surroundings

discussions
my other friends were saying
she was charmed- not to know during the time of incidents
but I was thinking-- if only she wake up during the event
she might be hurt or injured
or she might be killed

the Malay belief
rear some fishes-- they never close their eyes- even when asleep
wear your underwear inside out
they believe like that
the thief cannot 'baca bukaw'-- read the charm
which is which
I don't know

frustrated

how outsiders look at nurses
--rude
--not communicating with people
--not helpful
--the lists goes on

I feel really down these few days
I feel I have no mood to work
what happen to me?
I thought that I am so proud to be a nurse
but now I am being shaken
why people hate nurses
what have we done wrong?
what have we do that people don't sayang us anymore
i am thinking hard
i haven't has any answer yet

i look back
i am always being respected
but now it seems we are not being respected
people look at you transparent
people even stare at you
where it goes wrong?

torn.....

my usual round to the CTW/CRW ward
on my way
I saw a man-- may be in his twenties
he looks very fierce
as if want to beat people up
I am a little scared
I walk passed him in a hurried manner
I noticed he worn torn t- shirt--quite badly torn
I think to myself
our clothing still good
want to buang already
he is a young man
do we all think that he wants to wear torn clothing?
may be he is poor
or may be he don't care how he looks
to me , may be he is from keluarga yang tiada

sometimes I think to myself
why are we so picky
why are we so choosy
why can't we be a bit cincai

one girl- in her 30"s come to me
matron , find me a man
I want to get married
but where to find?
when people want you , you jual mahal
wait till one day
you chose a dog with no tail.
human , human.
I don't know you belong where?

three............

there are 3 types of people in this world
--someone wanders what happen
--someone make things happen
--someone see things happen

I myself belongs to all the three
I am retiring end of December 2011
at the age of 58 years old
My patients relative says I am only 40 plus
I was happy
ha ha , we know where we are
age goes up and never comes down!

I am considered senior citizen already
sometimes I feel myself waisting so much of my hours
doing none important things
I hate myself sometimes
of not able to make my live to the fullest

if only........
I am rich-- but I am not
I am more cleverer-- but I am not
I study harder--but I didn't
I can go oversea--don't know yet
Who knows -- I can follow my girls
to overseas one day
dreams , dreams and dreams
but it is always a dream 1st
before event happens
you all agree with me?

where ...

if you smile, laugh
the whole world smile and laugh with you
when you die, you die alone
when I go down to work today
I met the mortuary man ,
pushing a corpse by himself alone
and along on the way to rumah mayat
where are the dead dearest-- none ? where?

there is this miss Dr Anne
senior already
their mum is bed ridden
when her father visited her
he keeps telling me-- repeatedly
"life is like that "
like what?
sometimes very sad to know
I met my friend
visited her--her neighbour
she told me ,last time she was very cantik
but now-- fat like a heap of meat
arms and legs deformed
behave like a big baby
feeds through tube
pee and bo on pampers
no wander the old man keep telling me --life is like that ?

I got a friend
always talk bad about people
always tell lies
have so many enemies
good kah like that?
mulut selalu say --God
where is her God?

NEET

ie Nor in Education , Employment or Training
meaning that you are either not working or a pensioner
eat sleep and doing no things in life
but in this world there are so many this people
between 15 - 35 years old-- hey they are not pensioner yet
Malaysians pension at 58 years old at government sector
so who are this group of people?
oo
they don't fit themselves into any job
either the job is too high for them
or they are too high for the job
who feed them/
the fama company

mouth of July

* ghost month
my peers tell me
the straight forward case also turn out to have complications
true, true -- it is happening
I told the cardiologist on call
he laughs aloud
he neither agree nor disagree

fantacy-- what is it?

fantasy...
want to have a great boyfriend..
orang puteh
talk besar
gojet kosong--high fy
travel here and there
but satu sen nyadai
kerja-- nyadai
what to eat next day-- nyak numur
ada rumah--- no no no
where stay-- renting
any car-- renting
semua -- no no no
only a life-- great kisses,mulut say-- I love you
promises -- a lot
not even one fulfilled
is that what is called life
what is future with this type of situation?
I am really worried

Now
be realistic
have a profession
have a qualification
have something in hand
have something to be seen
a house
a car or something to be seen
something to anchor on that 's something
to start out with.

Foochow.

never regret
I'm a foochow that I never regret
we are hard working people
we save money as well
we also know how to get property
we all know how to work our way up to get rich
DD used to say mum is stingy
it is not like that DD
it is just that we are too poor to be spendish
i hope you understand me
i earn money and i save money as well
if I'm not like that ,you all have no money to go to school
DD will say she don't use any of my money
thank you Dd
that's why ,i want you all to understand me more
save when you can save
spend when you are suppose to spend
save for the raining days

the foochow in oversea also own a lot of properties
the angmo are different people
they eat ,enjoy and save little
I am worry if we can live with them well
I just pray

I'm old
i still admire foochow
i still love me myself

wishes............

many wishes in life
*my life partner a little bit more understanding to me
he always don't quite understand what i tell him
he 's slow in catching up what I say
he don't catch my jokes
he don't understand me ..me...me...

*my children go to church more often
all my daughters can go to church more often
all their partners are church goers
through god's words, we can be more united
more understanding to the others
more helpful and more passion in life
and more better people in life

*life is never a perfect thing
if it is no good enough, we improve it
we work on it
we better it
that's life

* but , give life a chance 1st
it is never a reality without a dream 1st
give it a dream 1st

IT

a lady who's 80 odd years old
first time torching a computer
she 's from Marudi

last night
I chat with a girl from Sarikei--Ivy Moh
she says that I m very modern--knowing face book
well , I don't quite agree with her statement
nowadays, we have to catch up with technology
learn everything that 's new to us
and improve everyday to suit us to the world progress
we just can't stay where we were
we must not do
the same thing
the same way , next year
we must move forward everyday
we must learn new things, study more each day
there's no way for us to stay stagnant anymore
we must go forward
we must par our self
bench mark our self
each and everyday
when we are alive.
that's facts of life
so youngsters
equip yourself ---study hard, learn more whenever you can
you all are young
and that you are the natural winner.
god Bless you all

dreams..

I have many dreams in life
when I was a little girl
I want to be charming
marry to someone handsome
have a big house
have a good job
have children--- boys and girls
got lots of money --these and that

the time comes when I am a big girl
sensible to make judgement on my own
make decision for myself
make my own friends--man friends , boy friends etc
my dream man never come along
frustrated at times
tell myself not wanting to get married
but deep inside me
I want to get married and have my own children
to me all ladies think the same way as me
it is not wrong to think as such

but life is never as want you dream
life is just like that
how many women dream of marrying a perfect man and at the end
marry none
because there's no where to find a perfect man
life is such

but there are opportunity where man come along your life
and you don't want to grab the golden opportunity
and you are so picky not to let yourself a chance
and also a chance for the other people

there's time when you adore someone
but he has no feel for you
it is pointless to dream of such a man
you are wasting your time

in life
is better to be loved by someone than to love someone
love someone is difficult
someone love s you is better
life is such

but life is never perfect
it is not call life if it is as such
life is simply to solve problems

what is life

we always want to have the best in life
the whole thing,
the perfect thing,
the wonderful thing
the best , best ,best of all.

but in real practical life, it is always different.
what we think and what we want is not really what we will have
life is a opportunity sometimes
if you have it
that it is

I always dream of marrying someone rich ,
handsome,
good education
good look
have position in society
have fame
good in everything
but , but where to get good people like that in this world
people who are rich
they already have someone in mind
they always marry someone of their own circle
left is only some ah mau , ah dog
they also don't want you

someone who is very picky
at the end chose a dog with no tail
the stories go on and on and on and never ending

sometimes it is an opportunity
if you get it in time , you are the winner in life
that's life

sigh.........

sad , sad

I noted that my car gear pad can't be pressed down
I get out from my car to check
I found nothing wrong
I try again
and its OK
Why , why , I don't know

on my way home
i met two men --jogging
one is having CVA
the other jog as if he is so very tired on the road
Why ?

sweet dream

3 days ago (30/6/2010),I had a dream
I dreamed of my late parents
my mum give me chang made of many ingredients--
looked like the canton chang
i like it so much and I enjoy eating it
my parents address is
3rd mile ,Bintangor cemetery
walk up the main road
till the top ( the other side of the cemetery is facing the other way)
turn to to right
then there is another road going down
the 8th row down
3rd to the left

chin Ming 2010
I had a hard time finding my parents place
I walked up and down many ,many times
at the end I can get to their place
sweating all over
I saw many ang moh during that time

man friends

suk ye have a dog
the dog is teenage age
the former owner is suk ye 's home maid
when the gate is opened
he knows how to go back to his former house
his former house is quite far away
so every time the former owner has to bring him back
now he s tied to the back yard

the house maid is working 3 days a week now
the older dog knows when to go to her house to call her to work
how wonderful

18/5 /2010

I hate today

I cry today
I was caught up in something
I really don't like it
I hate that lady
I am so unhappy with her behaviour
I was with her for many years
now she comes back to me
She always tell lie
she makes everybody unhappy
She says something so hurting to me and others
she really make me down
she lie so much
she tells a lot of everything which is of no evidence to the others
She can make people fight over something and she will laugh when people are suffering
why is she like that
God ! you please help her not to make us unhappy anymore

our family........

paternal grandpa

He was a nice man. But he couldn't stand on his own. He had no balls of his own. He was controlled by his wife ,who is like a witch, if he didn't listen to her, she will cried whole night. I saw it with my own eyes!

When he got old, the old lady didn't treat him well.She used to scold him a lot. I pitied him sometimes. But he was just my in law! I couldn't say much ,because I am nobody in that family of the Tang dynasty!

One day,he fell ill. Nobody bring him to see a doctor.Everybody talked and talked and at the end pushed to us. I brought him to see a doctor in the government hospital where I worked last time.Actually he was sick enough to get admitted. But the doctor on duty said that I m capable to look after him at home.Well, I couldn't do anything! I accepted him to our home----to my room!well ,looking after an old sick man is not easy at all! I don't mind at all. After all ,I looked after people whom I don't even know !So there he stayed in our house till his last breathe.I send him to the hospital for admission, when he was more sick, using an ambulance, all by myself. The old lady was at our house , She didn't follow us. She went home to Bintangor.She always say, send the old man to hospital--the nurses in the hospital will change him when he pee and pass motion. In her eyes, the nurses are the people who are maids to change pee and motion only!

While in our house , I always cooked porridge for him. I always put in lots of things so that the porridge taste very nice. I remembered one day the old man told me that I cooked delicious porridge!While he was with us , he motion on the bed, the floor and sometimes outside the toilet bowl!the whole house smell of farces.

The old man stayed in the hospital for 8 days before he took his last breathe. While in the hospital , the Tang family used to say --oh ,ah kee wife (that is me) inside hospital , you all no need to look after the old man. Well my stand is always the same--that is people I don't even know , I look after, So it is OK for me.

Whenever their family go to hospital, they check one thing---that is open up the sarong and see if the old man pee or pass motion. If wet , they all say one word , nurse change him!

He died of septicaemia with multiple organs failure.

After funeral, I heard something ridiculous! "You kill dad" yeah, why say things like that!

I was really shocked when hearing such a comment! The old lady , the youngest sister in law---treat me very badly! they see me transparent . they talk to me as if I m nobody to them. They treat me worse than an animal outside their house! many times ,dad quarrel with me many times because of that issue. I nearly end up in a divorce!

His address is up the main road to the cemetery--
3rd mile
Bintangor,
No. 4 ,
4Th raw
to the left
RIP old grandpa. Diana can find the place.


The paternal grandma

When we went for Chin Ming on April this year, I noticed the old lady walking unsteady on flat ground. I didn't say anything till we came back to Kuching.

When we were in Indonesia, the elder brother rang to dad, saying that old lady is ill.So dad is so anxious to go back to Bintangor!

Dad went back since 21/5/2010 till now(today is 8/6/2010). 2 days ago, dad ask me to take leave to go home to make some decision. I refuse.I told dad that she is their mother and they have to come out with something . Not me! I "m to be blame again!

I'm not wrong! today dad grumble to me saying that his mum everyday scold him.Everyday tell him --- Ah hing anak so pandai, their cucu , the head so big--next time like ah hing ....jadi rich people, ah kong anak very pandai...bla..bla...

dad hate her very much. He wants to come home. Home is waiting for you!

I still remembered ,when the old lady got admitted years back, when my turn to look after her in hospital, if I sat this side of the bed, she turned to the other side. It is OK for me, I talk to my colleague while my turn to look after her .I told dad, if she don't like you, your heart give to her to eat , she will not appreciate also . So that is life. let those whom she favors to look after her for ever and ever!